I have a disease!!!

I have a disease!  I’ve only just realised this.  I don’t just THINK it, I KNOW it!!!  I know it because I have seen the symptoms in so many others and very profoundly in the last week.

Sadly, this disease is very attenuating and at worse, completely devastating to those who have it.  Having realised this I need to think carefully about my future, my habits and how I should act in the best interests for my future health and success.

You see, for the last few weeks I have been feeling somewhat ill-at-ease.  Whenever I looked at the P&L, run rates, projections etc., etc. of both targets and goals I had put in place for the business and my personal life, I found myself lagging behind.  Being someone who can be so focused on “delivering” this does not sit well with me.  What should we be doing differently?  What should I do to shake things up? These were questions that constantly echoed through my mind.  My need “to do” was clearly a very natural “habit” to fall into….and yet all this did was make me feel “uneasy”.

To be honest I/we had a good year last year.  Both personally and in business we surpassed many targets and I loved that feeling and was keen for it to continue.  Off the back of this new targets and goals found their way onto paper and then locked into various “plans”.  Now I found myself like a possessed soul desperate to hit these into order to achieve and/or get ‘more, more, more”.

On Friday morning, I awoke to the news of a hung parliament following the UK General Election.  The Prime Minister had called this election even though she had a majority in Parliament.  Why?  Well, I guess she thought she could get “more” of a majority and that would make life so much easier.  The result however has more than back-fired and in hindsight seems a bad decision.  I bet Theresa and her advisors also feel “ill-at-ease” now they have seen and are living with the results!!

I guess another word for “ill-at-ease” could be “DIS-ease”?  It got me thinking this weekend that the obsession for us to go for more, more, more is actually a DIS-ease!  How many of us ask: when is enough, enough?  The PM had enough to do what she wanted to do, but how much did she obsess about the ease of having MORE?  How many of us get on the treadmill of “when I/we have x or y then that will be enough” …but in reality, because of our DIS-ease, it never is?

Then, on Friday I read this section of a book (The Space Within, Michael Neill) that turned my whole thinking and my DIS-ease on its head: -

…a perfect metaphor for living a guided life.

“We hang out in the unknown, not knowing what’s coming next but not completely worried about it.  We know something will show up, because something always does.  The next mission will be apparent, either because it presents itself to us from outside or it occurs to us on the inside.  None of it is riding on our shoulders.  The next person will come into our life.  The next opportunity will knock.  When it’s time, it’ll be time, and we’ll get in our planes and fly.”

If the general election results on Friday helped me realise my DIS-ease, the paragraph above was the perfect antidote.  I know this to be true, of course I do…the big steps are always a surprise and always turn up when you’re not looking for them!!

Do you ever find yourself wanting “more, more, more” even though you may not “need” it?  Do you get obsessed with targets that you set yourself…on a daily, monthly, annual basis?  Is there a different way, a healthier way of going about our life journey?

I do believe there is, and this weekend I have enjoyed feeling healthier and so much less” DIS-eased” than before!  Do I have the answers I was looking for? Hell no!  But I know that I am a lot closer now than I was during the week….and I am not even looking for them……

Have a great week.



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